Already got asked if we're dating
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
