Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
