Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's blow job season.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
