...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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