God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
