I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
