Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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