This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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