my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
