Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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