Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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