CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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