THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
