for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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