I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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