I look better un-naked...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
