Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
