watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
