u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
that's an acceptable place to lick
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize