Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
