And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize