Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
