Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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