I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
