Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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