Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
