woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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