So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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