i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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