this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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