i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she looked like the before picture.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
