I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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