also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
