We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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