i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
