I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
