Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it's like iHOP with fire
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
