I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
they need to just BURY HIM!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
