Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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