I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize