You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
