It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
