why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
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the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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