you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
