you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
They have beer where we have blood.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
