They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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