I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
