I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
