I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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