I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
