he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
