he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
