Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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