How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
send nudes
from the living room?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
