I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
