Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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