so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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