haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
