i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
