Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
