omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
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Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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