Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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