Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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