Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
