that's an acceptable place to lick
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
