is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
