Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
