You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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