But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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