its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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