woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I currently don't understand fingers.
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